Penguin Problems (Animal Problems)

What?!

Oh, you're going to read this book? Somehow I seriously doubt that. I bet you won't even finish reading this flap.

Don't worry about it. Why would you want to learn about some penguin's problems when you have plenty of problems of your own? Just look around. The world's a mess!

Besides, you probably don't even like penguins. Heck, I barely like penguins and I am a penguin.

Seriously, I'll understand if you put the book back on the shelf. Go ahead. It's for the best.

I'm sure you'd just get a bunch of paper cuts, anyway. And you'd probably bend the pages. And you'd get your little fingerprints everywhere.

When was the last time you washed those grubby hands of yours? No offense.

Sigh.

Listen: I'm going back to bed. Read, don't read. Buy, don't buy. Whatever.

Just try not to wake me up.

I'm a light sleeper.

And I have a lot on my mind.