Life and How to Live it: Near Wild Heaven (Memoir)

At first, silence felt holy. Then the music started—and nothing was ever the same.

In the second volume of his memoir series, Chaz Holesworth moves beyond the chaos of his Philadelphia childhood and into the uncertainty of adolescence, where longing, rebellion, first love, and identity begin to collide.

Raised in a world where fear passed for faith and obedience was survival, Chaz grows up disconnected from himself and unsure how to exist outside the rules that shaped him. Questions are dangerous. Emotions are weakness. Desire is something to bury. But as music, friendship, and love slowly enter his life, the walls around him begin to crack.

With every forbidden song, every late-night escape, and every moment spent searching for freedom, Chaz starts discovering pieces of himself he was never allowed to know. Music becomes more than an escape—it becomes a lifeline. Friends become family. And the silence that once protected him begins to give way to confusion, shame, curiosity, and the painful process of becoming real.

As drugs, heartbreak, adventure, and self-discovery collide, Chaz tries to outrun the weight of his past before it catches up to him. But survival alone is no longer enough. To reclaim his voice, he must confront everything he was taught to fear.

Raw, reflective, and deeply human, Life and How to Live It: Near Wild Heaven is a coming-of-age memoir about breaking free from indoctrination, surviving first love, and learning how to live after years of emotional silence. Set against the backdrop of mid-90s music and youth culture, it speaks to anyone who has ever felt trapped by their past while searching for a way forward.