The Ugly Underneath: Navigating the Emotional Toll of Investigating Crimes Against Children

Hunting predators comes with many costs.

The Ugly Underneath is a stirring and honest firsthand account of the world of crimes against children and one man’s dedication to fighting it. Shedding light on the emotional and psychological toll that investigating the horrible acts that occur just beneath the surface of our communities inflicts, author Carlos Rodriguez takes you through the development of his career in the Washington State Patrol and behind the scenes of several investigative operations to capture child sex offenders during his time as the leader of the Missing and Exploited Children Task Force.

To navigate the daily stress, Rodriguez learned to compartmentalize trauma into mental "boxes”—a coping mechanism he unknowingly developed long before his law enforcement career. And while it allowed him to endure through his work, the act of storing away that suffering exacted its own toll on his personal life. Through anecdotes of resilience, mistakes, and growth, he explores how carrying pain shaped him and what it meant to finally begin unpacking it.

Melding personal stories, true crime narratives, and exposés on the many difficulties that law enforcement officers face, Rodriguez shares his compelling experiences with resolute honesty and lightening moments of humor. This book offers a raw perspective on enduring the unimaginable and learning to live beyond it.